Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Something about Nature

I really believe there is something about nature that truly heals the soul. Some days are just plain tough, and I feel it is even harder because there is always someone watching (more on that later on) so if I'm having a hard time the best medicine seems to be to just pack the kids up in the stroller and take a long walk. The kids just love being in the stroller for some reason. They love just looking around and Conner talks about every single bird/rabbit/flower/airplane/etc that he sees the entire time. Just being outside just helps calm me down as well. I don't usually think about anything in particular and it's not like we are out in the middle of nowhere, we are walking through the neighborhood. It's just in the air or something that makes me feel so much better and I can walk back into the house a much happier momma! Pretty much everyday we go on a walk in late morning or early evening. The weather is perfect at that time and it seems to be when I and the kids need out of the house the most.

We are so blessed to be living with Kyle's parents. They do so much for us, however we are very excited to here back from a school with a job offer so we can move out on our own again. I think I have pinpointed why I need it now. Being pregnant I feel like my emotions just take control all of a sudden and I really try to not say anything I would regret, but sometimes it just pops out. Poor Kyle, our kids, and everyone else who lives with us! I know Sherry (mom in law) tries to help and today I snapped more then I should have. Everything was just building up and the kids were in a non mommy mode apparently. They were so tired so I put Joshie to bed around 8:30 (kicking dad in law off the big screen again, which I always feel guilty doing) then I laid Conner down by 8:45. Of course he started crying and Sherry was upstairs and wanted to go sing to him. I said, "No! I want him to fall asleep by himself or he will get used to someone there till he falls asleep." She asked if she could just sing him a few songs and I was just like, "please no, just let me raise him and put him down how I want." She just went downstairs and of course I felt guilty. I know she loves her grandsons and hates hearing them cry, I shouldn't have freaked out I was just so tired of how hard the kids were today and just wanted to be done. So, when we move out I won't have to worry about biting some ones head off for trying to help (except Kyle but he choose to be with me!haha)

Anyway, after I put the kids down I read my scriptures and that always brings a spirit to calm the soul also. It's just another miracle Heavenly Father gives us for those hard days. I'm so grateful to have this knowledge or I really think I would go crazy.


Mallory said...

Oh, Sarah! I can't imagine how difficult it is living with people that you aren't married to or that you didn't birth, in this stage of your life! And being pregnant and emotional through it all, too! I'm glad that the nature thing works for soothing you. Whenever I take Benji outside, things tend to get worse...because by the time -I'm- ready to come back inside, he starts throwing a major tantrum!!!

Oh, by the way, Scotty may be making his business trip to TX in June. If it gets confirmed, we will probably drive out on your birthday and stay a week. I'll keep you updated on all that, so we can make plans, if you want!

Mubeen said...

Just know that you're not alone! I'm not pregnant and I still have those days where I say something I regret because of a stressful day! Given your situation, it's hard and you make the best of it. You're a better woman than I would be in that situation!